Chapter 66: My destiny is up to me, I can’t help it 3 Enlightenment while facing the wall
Tang Qianying packed up her things, stood over and tilted her head to look at it for a while, and then said, "Vigorous means enough, but the charm I always thought it was weird."
Qing Yun nodded in agreement and wrote it twice, but it still didn't work.
"Otherwise, let's make do"
Zhuo Lang felt it was a waste of time.
He couldn't see any difference at all.
Qin Manman was unhappy, "If you can't do it, you have to do your best."
"Fifth brother, I can't waste your hard work." Qing Yun stretched. Waist up, looking at Nezha on the wall, he continued to be in a daze.
Zhuo Lang shrugged helplessly.
No way.
Obviously, Qin Manman understands him better than these brothers.
After being in a daze for a while, Qingyun turned to look at the classmates behind him, "You guys go back first. I'll be alone for a while. I need to find my feelings."
"They go back , I'll accompany you." Qin Manman immediately stood beside him.
Tang Qianying bit her lip, "Xiao Yunzi, my sister also stayed with me."
Qing Yun shook her head and smiled, "You are here, I can write I won’t come out.”
Qin Manman was stunned when he heard this.
Everyone who was packing their things also looked puzzled.
Tang Qianying seemed to understand something and stepped back with a smile.
Qin Manman felt a little uncomfortable when he caught sight of such actions from the corner of his eye.
What does it mean?
You understand him better than me
Looking at Qin Manman’s somewhat resentful eyes, Qing Yun also felt dumbfounded, “What’s in this word? It lacks a sense of sadness and anger. I don’t feel that way when you are around me.”
Qin Manman suddenly smiled like a flower when he heard this.
You know what I mean
There is no word "we"
But then she frowned.
Zhuo Lang touched his chin and clicked his tongue, "If that's the case, youngest, if you want to be sad and angry, I have a way."
"Say what you can do quickly"< /p>
Qin Manman's tone was very anxious.
Although she understood what Qing Yun meant, he felt that the world was happy when she was by his side.
However, she didn't want to let him fall into that state of mind again.
If I had to rely on revisiting my memory to write those few words.
She would rather Qing Yun finish writing it.
She once put herself into Qing Yun's situation, imagining his past experiences, and the feeling of not being able to see any light in the darkness made her cry all night.
This was also the reason why she refused to kill Tang Qianying.
Whether it was rational or based on Qing Yun's feelings, she could not kill him at this time.
So when Zhuo Lang suggested another way, she took it more seriously than anyone else..
Zhuo Lang was startled by Qin Manman being so anxious. He scratched his head and said,
"What I mean is, how about you and Sister Ying shout together?" "Julao Zishu Daoshan"
Everyone burst into laughter.
This
I’m afraid it’s not only sad and angry, but also frightening.
Qin Manman didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he heard this, but his eyes when looking at Qing Yun were green.
Haha
Everyone knows what Sima Zhao is thinking, right?
Zhuo Lang also realized something was wrong and quickly added, "One is a woman." Friends, one is a sister, doesn’t the youngest have this sad and angry charm?"
Tang Qianying held a large compass in her hand and rolled her eyes at him, "Bad idea"
said Then he pulled Qin Manman and left, "Come on, he has already walked out, it's okay."
Qin Manman snorted in his heart, of course it's okay.
With such a memory, she will probably think of you as a beam of light in the end.
The scheming frog
However, she did not stop.
Since he wants to do it perfectly, let him do it.
As for the rest, just clean it up later
After the crowd dispersed, Qing Yun simply sat on the floor, holding her head and looking at the paintings on the wall in a daze.
Every generation has its own memories.
About Nezha, the deepest memory of his generation is not Nezha who was born as a devil boy.
But Qingyun had a deeper resonance with the devil boy Nezha. When it was released, he, a man in his 30s, burst into tears in the cinema.
Before going to school, he was just like Nezha in The Devil Boy Comes to the World, and was not well-liked by others.
The demon boy Nezha wanted to play with the local children. The children had no prejudice against him, but the children's parents called him a monster.
The same goes for him.
He was scolded as a child without parents and was not allowed to let the children play with him.
The demon boy Nezha went to catch monsters and wanted to do justice for heaven, but they falsely accused Nezha of doing all the bad things. On the beach, they beat him with wooden sticks indiscriminately. on the body.
The same goes for him.
When he was 6 years old, he caught a snake that slipped into a pig pen, but people said he was the one who threw the snake in, and all the mischief and mischief were blamed on him.
It wasn’t until he went to school that he became a child of someone else’s family because of his talent. In the village, his reputation immediately changed.
All the children's parents let their children play with him.
The scene that impressed Qing Yun most deeply about Nezha causing trouble in the East China Sea was not that Nezha made trouble in the East China Sea, cramped his dragon tendons, and beat up the third prince of the Dragon King, but that the Dragon King from all over the world flooded Chentangguan, with rolling dark clouds and turbid waves. , when forcing Nezha to kill himself with his sword.
On one side, his father forced him to die, and on the other side, the Dragon King asked him to take his own life. At that time, Nezha was only 7 years old, and it was the most difficult time in his life.When he was scared, no one stood by his side, and Nezha felt cold and sad.
But no matter how scared he was, Nezha still chose to be a hero and carry it all by himself.
He pointed at the Dragon King and said, "Old demon dragon, listen, I am responsible for all the work, and you are not allowed to harm the people."
He looked back at his father and said He uttered the tear-jerking words "Daddy, I will return your flesh and blood to you. I will not harm you."
In that generation, many children were cut off by Nezha to return their flesh to their mothers, and their bones were dismantled to make their fathers cry. .
Why is this happening?
Because in the beating and scolding of our parents, in the beating and education of our parents, we have a mixture of love and hate for them.
And you were born to them. They are kind to you, but they cannot hate your parents, so all you want is to give your body back to them, and we will never owe each other anything.
This is a rebellion against patriarchy, and it is also the strongest flame in the hearts of rebellious children.
At that time, the friends who were sitting in someone else’s yard watching cartoons were all crying to death, but Qing Yun looked at them and smiled.
You still have parents who beat and scold you.
What about me
That night, Qing Yun hid in bed alone, crying silently.
At that time, he was eager to find his biological parents. He made detailed plans for this and set off as soon as he could save enough money.
If nothing else, just throw your report card in front of them and let them see how outstanding the doll they abandoned back then is now.
However, when he saved enough money a year later, he didn’t want to look for it anymore.
No need.
I don’t know which TV series in school or in the mailroom taught him a truth.
It is better to feed than to live.
In fact, looking at it from another angle, his biological father and biological mother were a deliveryman, and they sent him to his grandfather who regarded him as his grandson and son.
Having figured everything out, he threw the clues left by his parents into the firewood and burned them to ashes.
At that time, Qing Yun's mentality was peaceful and peaceful.
The county government agencies always come to organize veterans to go out and see.
Grandpa always said that after serving as a soldier all his life, he had never been anywhere
I had been abroad, and at that time there was no need for a passport.
In his English, enlightenment is his grandfather, and his enlightenment book is a simple mimeographed book.
"surrenderquicky"
Qingyun was asked by his grandfather to memorize this passage very well, saying that he would need it sooner or later.
After studying in the county junior high school for half a year, he laughed at his grandfather and nowNo more fighting, no need to carry those things.
Grandpa refused to listen and always said that imperialism would never die in destroying me.
As a descendant of the Qing family, he must be prepared to go to the battlefield.
At that time, Qing Yun, who had seen the world in the county town, was dumbfounded.
My only idea is to rely on my grades to get into a good university, get ahead, take this stubborn grandfather around the world, and tell him that the world is at peace.
Afterwards, he was admitted to Jincheng No. 4 Middle School.
People in the village don’t know how good Jincheng No. 4 Middle School is, but they know that it is a key high school in the provincial capital.
Uncle De, who sent Qing Yun to take the exam for foreign students, came back and said that he heard that entering this high school meant entering a key university.
At that time, the village was boiling, and grandpa was laughing from ear to ear.
The villagers even believed that a high-ranking official was about to appear in Qingjiagou Huanglian Village.
Because the last high school student in the village became a township cadre.
The future college students from key universities will not be able to become provincial cadres when they graduate
At that time, there were no college student village officials.
The 80-year-old village chief opened an ancestral hall and appealed to his ancestors that there would be a successor to the Qing family.
Yes, he is a member of the Qing family.
The 300-year-old son left Sichuan to go to the national disaster, but only 7 members of Qing’s family came back.
Afterwards, his grandfather passed away and he became an orphan again.
e is not an orphan either.
I have an extra god-sister.
Thinking of this, Qing Yun laughed. It was this god-sister who always wanted to be his mother-in-law.
However, at that time, he actually didn't have much feelings for Tang Qianying.
In other words, at that time, the girl named Qin Manman was full of troubles in his heart.
Grandpa is gone. Fortunately, he is already 17 years old and does not need to go to the orphanage. The whole village, young and old, told the Civil Affairs Bureau that they had taken care of the child.
However, the high school student township cadre Qing Yue who left this village said that the original adoption procedure was illegal and Qing Yun was a fraudster.
Qing Yue was worthy of being a high school student of that era, and he directly grabbed Qing Yun's lifeline as soon as he made a move.
The household registration system has been the core system of the country for thousands of years.
No matter how good Jincheng No. 4 Middle School is, under this system, they cannot intervene.
When reading other people’s stories, people will always believe more in the darkness, but when it happens to themselves, they will believe in the light.
If there are so many things that are above the system, where did they get the keyboard?
There is no saying that the principal of a key middle school can suppress everything.
In a system that has absorbed more than 90 of China’s elites, there are two different systems and two different divisions. If you buy into it, it would be too anti-intellectual.
So, Qing Yun can only go to court. This is reasonable.plot.
Qing Yun has lived for 17 years, and for the first time he knows that he has no identity at all in this world.
In fact, the black account can be used again, it is not a big deal.
However, the student status that matches the household registration one-to-one cannot be maintained.
Although it does not affect Qingyun's college entrance examination, he can no longer attend public high schools, and all the preferential treatment he has enjoyed before will be cancelled.
Because all of this is based on Grandpa Qingyun’s status as a special hero.
Now that there is no connection between the two, it is naturally invalid.
Everything is a dead end.
Fortunately, in this world, there are still people who are superior to others.
With the action of the Jincheng No. 4 Middle School Alumni Association, especially Qin Tianchuan, the whole incident came back to life.
Jincheng No. 4 Middle School is a strong liberal arts school, which means that its students have a large number of people in the judicial and legal circles.
A team of senior lawyers, which can be called a luxurious team, took action, and the judge who hammered the hammer was also a little trembling.
Although everything was developing in a good direction, and although Qing Yun finally maintained his identity in this world, he was confused at that time.
Grandpa
The world is really big.
Grandpa
After you left, this world is really strange.
He had no enmity with the township cadre, so why did he attack him so viciously?
In fact, in terms of blood relationship, after his grandfather passed away, Qing Yue was his closest relative. His relative, he even called him uncle.
He still remembers that it was Qing Yue who taught him to write.
"Both horizontally and vertically, there is strength of character, but holding back and flying is blood."
Every high school student of that era was at least 211 in the background.
Qing Yun has always remembered Qing Yue’s words.
So, he is particularly paranoid about practicing calligraphy.
In order to save paper, he actually used tree branches to practice his strokes and brushwork on loose sand.
So, he developed the habit of writing without regrets. There is no such luxury as a draft.
In his previous life, agreeing to be Qin Manman's contractual boyfriend was what caused his life to sink for the next 20 years.
He rose from a high position and took the position of vice president of Hopu Group in just 4 years.
His building collapsed, and statistically those who graduated from college are waiting for employment.
He took the postgraduate entrance examination, he took the Ph.D. examination, he stayed in school, and he taught.
In fact, he still can't tell whether it was the bad taste of Qin Tianchuan, the master at that time.
Because I am too small.
He didn't believe that Qin Tianchuan couldn't see his talent in business, but Qin Tianchuan didn't give him any chance.
Comprehensive suppression without blind spots.
No matter which industry he is in, his resume cannot pass the test.
The Qin family is too big.
Even if I open a noodle shop, I won’t be able to keep it going.
We can only surrender and admit defeat.
Combining Qin Manman’s words in this life, he finally understood that in his previous life, he was plotted by the two fathers and daughters and became her backup.
The backup tire for the motherland’s scientific undertakings.
It sounds quite noble.
As a man, it is too frustrating.
Qin Manman in his previous life never even gave him a chance to be on top.
It’s his fault
If it weren’t for her scheming in her senior year of high school, would the two of them be like this?
How many people in this world can do this? She has Qin Zhao's scheming
But Tang Qianying is even more outrageous.
He keeps talking about Bai Yueguang, and why he doesn’t want to lose, let alone him.
If you have the ability, don’t run away with the ball
To put it bluntly, I just want to Why do you want to be a cinnabar mole?
As for Qin Tianchuan, he is a good entrepreneur, serving the country and the people, and a good father. His daughter Qin Manman is loved endlessly
But why should he treat His fate was decided with one word
Qing Yun's breathing became heavy and he closed his eyes.
The emotions of anger and frustration were suppressed, lingering, and colliding in his chest, and even his body started to tremble.
He mentally reviewed the 38 years of his previous life, just like Nezha was reviewing his life through the playback function of Bongtian Pig.
Review means we look back at the early state of the event.
At this time, we will find some different perspectives, and we will see that the so-called truth is the result of each choice and action.
Looking back is three Steps
The first is to discover yourself
The second is to accept yourself
The third is to be aware of all things
When work becomes more and more confusing, When you feel that powerless, it’s time to seriously look back on the past.
Start looking back from the time you have memories to re-understand yourself and find out what you are most interested in.
What you do the most may be an action.
We can think carefully about why we were so interested in that event at that time and why we were so happy after doing it
That is your true original intention.
When we finally get to know ourselves, we must begin to accept ourselves. The most authentic self does not really need any lofty goals, but it is the true original intention of ourselves.
What is Qing Yun’s original intention?
In other words, what is his original intention in this life?
It’s very simple, people are better than others.
This is the third step of retrospection, which is the step closest to the present,
awakening to all things.
What does it mean?
It is to combine our original intention with this complicated world.
Let the two have a sense of unity. Only by reaching agreement with the world, the feeling of powerlessness will basically disappear.
For example, Nezha, the demon boy, likes to attack as soon as he is born.
Attack everything, this is the real Nezha.
But for a long time, he couldn't accept himself, so he always gave up on himself.
It wasn't until later that he realized that he was actually transformed by a magic pill. He completely accepted his attack-loving self and began to display great destructive power.
Only when you accept it can you awaken and be aware of all things.
What does it mean?
When he saw the truth that his father was willing to sacrifice his life for himself, he had a certain consciousness;
When he saw the villagers When he was about to be killed, he had some consciousness again.
That's why I said the sentence "I can't help but decide my fate"
That's when I started to fight against the feeling of powerlessness that had always remained in my mind.
No one is perfect, but everyone is complete, and everyone has both good and evil sides.
When we discover the truth of a higher dimension, beyond good and evil, and what kind of life we want to live, we suddenly have many more choices.
Only by knowing who you are can you better accept yourself and be aware of all things.
The corners of Qing Yun’s mouth turned up.
My destiny is determined by me, not by God.
My destiny is determined by me, not by heaven.
My fate is up to me
He suddenly opened his eyes and stood up.
The blockage in his chest disappeared, turning into a monstrous fighting spirit.
Yes, very fighting spirit.
Fine wine, flowers, applause, and beauties.
In this life, fight for this.
Pick up the pen.
Dip in ink.
Walk a hair.
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