"It's so hot, I can't sleep."
I murmured, frowning slightly, tossing and turning on the quilt, complaining that it was too hot to sleep at night in summer, and I couldn't sleep until my mind calmed down. When sleeping peacefully, if you have a little thought or feel nervous, you will sweat profusely.
Chu Yue and I were sleeping peacefully on the edge of the bed, separated by one person. I don’t know how she could sleep. Covered with a light quilt, she fell asleep like this. I sat Get up, lean on the bedside, and watch Chu Yue sleep peacefully.
This may not be because of the heat, but because of myself. I am a little restless and unable to settle my mind. I have random thoughts as soon as I go to bed. It may be what the old people often say about men being irritable in the dog days of summer.
I lifted my bangs, wiped off the hot sweat on my forehead, and turned on the desk lamp. A small ray of dusk light spread on the bedside table. Chu Yue turned over and stretched out her hand to lay on my bed. She touched the place where she touched, but when she didn't touch me, she slowly opened her eyes, rubbed them gently, and whispered: "Xiangyang..."
"I'm here "
I answered Chu Yue's call. She was worried that when she woke up, the person next to her would have left. Chu Yue held my hand and yawned vaguely. Said: "It's so late and you haven't slept yet? What are you thinking about?"
I stared at the desk lamp, staring at the dusk, and responded to Chu Yue softly, "It's nothing, it's just too hot. , I can’t sleep, so I’ll sit up and calm down, and I’ll go to sleep later. I’m sorry to disturb you.”
Chu Yue squeezed my hand and closed her eyes, “Okay, go to bed early.”
Chu Yue fell into a deep sleep again. I thought of her words. Maybe I was missing someone, but I already had Chu Yue. I couldn’t eat from the bowl and look into the pot. I sighed. With a tone of voice, he gently pulled out the hand held tightly by Chu Yue.
Maybe I should forget the past, cherish everything I have now, let go of the entanglements of the past, and let go of the reluctance of the past. If I continue to be entangled in my heart, then I will still be sentimental, let alone free. , if I don’t let go of the past, I won’t be free for a day.
I turned off the desk lamp and covered my cheeks with my hands, trying to calm myself down. It seemed that I had just dreamed of a female figure in a dark dream. Her long hair was flowing and she was dressed in a very formal way. Peeping at me from a dark corner not far away, her outline was obvious, and the surrounding area was radiating white like a halo.
She was tearing and twisting my dream space. I wanted to get closer, and her face became blurry. When I really stepped into it, the feeling of biting like a wild beast overwhelmed me. The forest of mirrors in my heart was completely shattered, making me miserable.
My body was distorted and my consciousness began to blur. In the dream, I clearly felt that I was crying. The ice was cold, and the coolness across my cheeks suddenly woke me up...
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I was still sitting on the edge of the bed. The experience I just had seemed to have dispersed when I was awake and disappeared into the darkness around me., I stared blankly at the darkness in front of me. I longed to see that vague figure again, but this is reality. I can't do it, and neither can she.
Just when I thought this was my imagination, I was surprised to find myself crying, silent tears... It turns out that the coolness in the dream was the medium that brought me back to reality. , unable to let me sink into the torn and twisted space, the mirror forest in my heart returned to its original state, Chu Yue's amusement park, Qiu Hui's music box, Gu Wei's guitar lipstick, are all there.
It’s time for me to sleep...
······
Early in the morning, after sending Chu Yue to work as usual, I chose After crowdsourcing and registering a rider account, I started my work journey. In the huge Suzhou, I became a simple and ordinary worker.
I started placing orders. The first order was a powder ordered by a customer. I followed the instructions on my mobile phone to receive the powder, and then followed the notes given by the customer to buy a pack of Su cigarettes for him. Of course, I also I had to pay for it myself. When I arrived at Baoyi Building on Guangjian Road in Wuzhong District, the customers were waiting for me under the building.
Since I was not familiar with the road conditions, I followed the navigation twice to find it. It took more than a minute. When I handed the powder to the customer, he looked me up and down first, a little wary, and used I asked with a local Suzhou accent: "A foreigner?"
I was stunned. I didn't understand it at first, but then I smiled and nodded, "Well, I'm not a local. I'm from Guangxi and came to Suzhou to work. , the first day of delivery, this is my first order, I’m sorry it’s overtime.”
“Oh, you’re from Guangxi? Why do you speak so standard Mandarin?”
The customer was a middle-aged man wearing a suit and a beard. He took the takeout bag and immediately took out not the powder inside, but the pack of Su cigarettes, and unpacked it with ease. He took one in his mouth and lit it.
“I am indeed from Guangxi, but I don’t speak with the accent of my hometown, so I don’t sound like a Guangxi person. Every time I tell others that I am from Guangxi, they don’t believe it, and I don’t. No way."
I explained for myself, he looked at me and smiled, took out Su Yan's money from his pocket and handed it to me, "This is the cigarette money, let's go."
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His tone was very calm, and his eyes did not linger too much on me, as if my explanation just now fell on deaf ears to him.
After saying that, he picked up the bag, turned around and walked into the building. I sighed, he didn't hold me accountable. I felt a little lucky in my heart. Sure enough, there are still many good people in the world.
After deducting the platform fees, I made a total profit of a few yuan. To be honest, it was very small and not enough to live on. My one-day grocery shopping cost me one day’s salary.
I sighed helplessly and stared at the orders that kept jumping on my phone. I had no intention of taking the orders and thinking about them.Why is it that in the food delivery industry, even if it doesn’t make money, there are still people doing it? Is it because of the pressure of life? Or is it the only way out if you have low education, can’t find a job, and don’t want to be someone who eats, drinks, and waits to die?
Maybe, I have seen the nature of society. As long as people at the bottom lose their ambition, they have only two choices in life. One is to eat and wait to die, and the other is to be like I am the same, going to do the most tiring work.
I still took the order. I earned very little money. No matter how small a fly is, it is still meat. Over time, I will definitely be able to save a lot of money. This order was sent to Suning Industrial Community, which is very close, in Baoyi. Next to the building, but the pick-up location is far away, a McDonald's on Fengjin Road.
It’s a long way to go this time, but I have to deliver the orders I take. The customer is God. I have to hold this concept in mind to live according to the rules.
My second customer is a woman, a middle-aged woman. After coming out of Suning Industrial Community, she has been staring down at her mobile phone. She occasionally looks up at me, takes the takeaway from my hand, and says thank you. Without saying anything, he just walked back to the community coldly.
I thought she would say thank you, so I ran back and forth for her. Isn’t the authentic restaurant in the surrounding area as delicious as the McDonald’s fast food in my hand? Are those restaurants far from here? Don't want to walk a few steps to taste it yourself?
I was helpless. I couldn’t care about anything even if I wanted to. I was very depressed and had no way to vent...
After a whole morning of struggling, I gave it away. Seven orders, profit of 40 yuan, two orders overtime, and I was deducted more than ten yuan. I sat on the roadside, very depressed, staring at the overtime orders on my phone, very distressed.
Because of the timeout, the customer gave me a bad review and refunded the meal. Not only did I lose money, but I also had to deal with the meal myself. I grabbed the fried rice in the lunch box. It was not particularly fragrant and the ingredients were good. Very little. This is fried rice that costs more than ten yuan. Even if it is hard to swallow, I have to eat it.
I’ve been tired all morning, and I don’t have enough money to buy a pack of cigarettes or a bag of lollipops. It’s equivalent to consuming my own calories for no reason. I haven’t earned any money, but it’s quite good to lose weight.
I took the last bite, swallowed it, and rested for a while. Looking at the dynamic LCD screen on the building not far away and the advertisements playing, I couldn’t help but meditate on my own insignificance and the crossroads. , it is clear that pedestrians, motorcyclists, and cars are all gathered together, but their ultimate goal is not the same point.
Some people lead to wealth, and some people lead to poverty. Being on the same starting line gives you enough face and respect. Whether you can surpass after starting is a symbol of your strength.
I was very touched. Suddenly, a Meituan rider carrying a bag of takeaways sat next to me. He took off his helmet and pulled down the black cloth that covered half of his face. Only then did I see clearly. His face is very young, not very old, but his eyes are full of stories and his palms are calloused.
He facedHe picked up his cell phone and said softly: "It's timed out. They don't want the meal. I can't help it. I've been deducted money now. I haven't made much, so I'll take it slow. I'll transfer the money to you later. You can talk to your best friend." I will push the time and bring you a bouquet of flowers later to make you beautiful..."
The Meituan guy spoke Suzhou dialect very fluently, but I couldn't understand it and was stunned for a moment. I was stunned. I probably ended up transferring money to my girlfriend. After hanging up the phone, he sat down on the floor next to me. I sorted out the finished lunch boxes and made room for him. He took the milk tea in the takeout bag and a bowl of noodles. When he came out, he said to himself: "Oh, it's a good meal. Don't use it after the time limit. What a waste. You have to spend money on yourself and you can only eat it by yourself."
He suddenly looked at He glanced at me and asked in Mandarin: "Are you also delivering food?"
I nodded, holding the lollipop in my mouth, without saying a word. I nodded as much as I could and couldn't speak anymore.
"Did your meal fall on your hand?"
He looked at the empty lunch box I put behind him, and drank the milk tea with a smile. Nodding, he probably thought I was boring, so he stopped talking to me. He drank milk tea, ate powder, and sat on the roadside with me, looking at the endless flow of cars in front of him, regardless of his own shame.
Just like this, he would take out his cell phone to send messages from time to time. He might smile or sigh. This is normal, our normal state. Any takeaway that cannot be delivered will fall on his own hands. The money you have can only be eaten by yourself.
It’s really hard. This is a loss-making business. The steps I have taken cannot be taken back. The choices I have made cannot be changed. No matter how hard it is, I must continue to deliver food. In fact, I can comfort myself. Suddenly, without our food delivery people, those customers would just go hungry.
In other words, we are their savior, their dawn salvation...