Sakai Katsuko raised her head. She tilted her head and stared into Gu Weijing's eyes, as if she saw courage slowly seeping out from the depths of his eyes again.
The broken heart was slowly healed by her kisses.
The eyes turned from empty to bright again. The midday sun shone through Shengzi’s shawl hair and onto Gu Weijing’s face, reflecting tiny sparkles in it.
"Very good."
The girl nodded with satisfaction and gently pressed his forehead with her fingers, "Quiet now, I know what you are thinking, but no. Yes.”
“I feel very good, better than ever. There are two feelings in my mind. My heart tells me that I can draw what I want right away. "
Gu Weijing breathed out slowly and smiled.
Hard to understand.
When he recalled the changes that had taken place in his heart in just half an hour, it felt as if it was a lifetime ago.
The removed wisteria tree, the failure of copying, the setback before the bottleneck, Tang Ning’s disdain, the influence of the original family, the inferiority complex in front of the genius, the pressure of inheriting the family business
Continuously Gu Weijing didn't even notice it.
It turns out that he has accumulated so much negative pressure in his heart since he was a child.
In the past few months.
Dang’s bet with Mr. Cao made the dream of “becoming a great painter” change from a slogan-like goal to something that seemed to be something that could finally be taken into consideration. When we meet.
This pressure was not released, but began to grow exponentially.
People will not be excited about the unattainable clouds, but they will worry about the gains and losses for the apples that they can reach by tiptoe.
This is just like when Zhu Yuanzhang was still a beggar, he may have had a dream of becoming an emperor in his mind, but it was just a light and weightless dream.
Twenty years later.
Lao Zhu has become famous and has transformed from a little beggar in Fengyang into a world-famous hero. He took his brothers to Poyang Lake to prepare to fuck him and Chen Youliang to death. That deep night, he slept and ate anxiously. Unable to rest and sleep.
Because classmate Zhu suddenly discovered, damn, it turns out that I really might become the emperor.
The process of getting closer to your dream is a process of getting closer to pressure.
After so many years of fighting in the north and south, Mr. Zhu’s mentality has been tempered enough, but his Gu Wei-level skills have improved too quickly and too easily.
Always.
His technical level has become a mature professional painter, but his heart is not ready yet.
So when the negative pressure was detonated, Gu Weijing was destroyed with little resistance.
Fortunately.
While Gu Weijing drowned in negative emotions, Miss Sakai fished him out again.
A blessing in disguise, How can I know that it is not a blessing?
If it hadn’t been for this interview with Ms. Tang Ning, who had so nakedly penetrated and brought out the knot in his heart, it might have taken a long time for Gu Weijing to realize his psychological problems.
This negative emotion was not given by Tang Ning. It always existed in his heart. Mr. Cao's female disciple just cleverly inserted a fuse to ignite it.
It would have accumulated, accumulated, accumulated
until it exploded again at a critical moment full of pressure.
When the emotional bomb explodes, it will be vented by crying.
The deeper it is buried, the more violently it will crack when the psychological barrier is destroyed and surges out.
This outbreak only almost destroyed Gu Weijing’s courage to paint.
If it were buried deep for many more years, it might become a physical bloody bullet, a gunshot that would explode ten years later.
Just like the artist friend who influenced Picasso’s life, just like Van Gogh, Benjamin, Hemingway, Forster, just like the scarlet flower blooming in Ouistroy.
Like all tragedies in the art world.
Perhaps when you calm down and look back, you will find that it was not a big deal at all.
However, a moment of self-denial is enough to destroy the bravest person in the world.
Even a tough guy like Hemingway, a tough guy among tough guys, would despair and raise a shotgun against himself when he felt his inspiration faded at a certain moment and thought he could no longer write such a great text as The Old Man and the Sea. Note
Note There are different opinions on Hemingway's tragedy, and the theory of fading inspiration is only one of the explanations.
"No drawing allowed."
Sakai Katsuko patted Gu Weijing's head again and chuckled, "Tell me your other thoughts."
"Another kind of thing."
Gu Weijing twitched his lips, "Another thought in my mind is to do nothing and just want to lie down like this. . Being held by you like this makes me feel very warm and calm. I want to lie down and sleep for a while. ”
It’s a wonderful emotion. things.
Not long ago.
He was standing in the 35-degree Celsius sunshine, sweating profusely while painting, but he felt cold to the bone. There was a chill spreading from the bottom of his heart that seemed to overwhelm his whole body.
At this moment.
Gu Weijing's whole body was soaked by the cold lake water, but he felt very warm, and the gentle sunshine covered his body like a substantial gauze.
He was lying in the arms of Sakai Katsuko, as if he were lying in a soft sponge, and the warmth penetrated from the surface of the body to the seams of the bones.
With such a sunny girl by my side.
It seems like just lying there forever, doing nothing, is pretty good.
Sakai Katsuko did not speak.
She smiled, stood up,He hugged Gu Weijing a little tighter.
Gu Weijing felt that the hug lasted for a long time, maybe fifteen minutes, maybe half an hour, maybe longer.
He really closed his eyes.
Time seems to have no meaning at this moment.
A stuffed thing jumped on Gu Weijing's belly.
Gu Weijing knew it was Nga Wang without even opening his eyes.
When little girl Jasmine was taken away by Uncle Alai, she thoughtfully left the cat behind.
Uncle Mao Mi was too proud to run around.
It has been lying quietly at Miss Sakai's feet.
At this time, Awang was probably attracted by the coolness of the evaporating lake water on Gu Weijing's body, or maybe the civet cat also wanted to be held by his big sister like this.
It sniffed Gu Weijing's body with its flesh-colored nose, licked the water droplets on Gu Weijing's neck with its tongue, and then rubbed Miss Sakai's arm, asking her to leave it for itself. a location.
Awang squeezed over.
It tucked its tail between Gu Weijing’s neck and lay down on his side in a swaggering manner.
Miss Sakai was lying on his pillow, and his cat was lying on his chest.
Gu Weijing smiled, he felt that life was really beautiful.
The ancients said that beauty is the grave of heroes.
Gu Weijing somewhat understands the feelings of those foolish kings who are obsessed with the harem and never come to court early from now on.
No matter how warm a hug is, it will eventually end.
When Gu Weijing felt that the water vapor on his body was beginning to evaporate, Awang's tail began to move restlessly, almost stuffing it into his nostrils.
Tell the truth.
He found that Awang was indeed a little fat now being raised by Sakai Katsuko.
So, Gu Weijing still opened his eyes.
He pushed Awang's fat butt, pushed the resentful cat away from his body, and then looked directly at Sakai Katsuko.
Sakai Katsuko is also looking at him.
"I'd better practice painting for a while. I feel really good now. Don't worry, I feel very good, so I'll just paint for a short while."
"No. There's something wrong."
Gu Weijing didn't know why Shengzi always insisted on stopping him from practicing painting.
As a painter.
A suitable painting state is always something that can be encountered but cannot be sought.
Every second and every minute he is experiencing now is the wonderful state he was in just now, where he cried bitterly and asked for nothing.
He believes that as long as he puts pen to paper, even if he does not have a suitable wisteria tree to collect his feelings on-site, it should not be difficult to draw a work of emotional level this time.
Wasting such a good mood and opportunity for breakthrough in vain.
Gu Weijing always felt a lot of guilt in his heart, feeling that he was squandering natural resources.
"Yes, I believe it. Your current situationIf you have a good attitude, you will definitely be able to draw very good paintings. "Sakai Katsuko pursed her lips, showing two shallow dimples on her cheeks, and smiled playfully.
"But it still doesn't work. "She changed her tone and said seriously.
"Why?"
Gu Weijing straightened up from Sakai Katsuko's arms and asked in confusion.
"Because you have just experienced an emotional breakdown, and now Gu Jun is like an athlete who has just finished a long-distance run. You feel that everything is over. In fact, the emotional aftermath has not completely receded. This is not a good time to practice drawing. ”
“Shengzi, I’ve really gotten better. Really, you don't understand how I feel. I feel very grounded and peaceful now, but my mind is very active. Just paint for five minutes. I think five minutes is enough to consolidate my current emotional state. Is it good?"
Gu Weijing shook his head and asked.
Sakai Katsuko calmly shook his hand.
"My father said, the painter's The state of mind is like a porcelain cup. Every time there are intense emotional fluctuations, it is like the porcelain cup being smashed by a heavy hammer. Some fragile painters will always have only the painful porcelain pieces left in their hearts, scattered on the floor. Some brave painters can return to tranquility. "
"The process of returning to tranquility is the process of skilled craftsmen gluing the pile of porcelain pieces back together. No matter whether it is repaired well or not, you must give the teacup enough time for the glue to solidify before you use it to drink water or tea again, otherwise it will leave hidden damage. ”
“You thought you had recovered, but one time you were poured into the alternating cold and warm ice springs and hot tea, and you were caught off guard and exploded. "
Sakai Shengzi took Gu Weijing's hand and explained softly.
"Uncle Sakai said that the painter's state of mind is that if a porcelain cup is not properly maintained and repaired, it will Will crack under pressure. "
Gu Weijing recalled his emotional state just now, smacking his lips at the lingering artistic conception of Professor Sakai Kazunari's metaphor.
"Well, Katsuko"
p>"You said. "
"Your father said that if he recovers well, he can return to his original emotional state." Gu Weijing was a little confused.
This is the first time in his life This is the first time he has experienced such a severe mental problem.
He feels very good now.
But Gu Weijing is worried that his future will be clouded by this emotional breakdown. In the shadows.
“No, it can’t be. ”
“If a porcelain is cracked, it is cracked. Everything in the past will leave a mark on everyone’s heart. Unless you lose your memory like in the TV series, it is impossible to go back to the past.” state that occurred. ”
Sakai Katsuko took out a small wooden comb from his pocket, patted his thigh, and asked Gu Weijing to lie down and tidy up his hair that was messed up by the lake water.
"But don't worry, this doesn't mean you will become a vulnerable person.If a painter can draw strength and enlightenment from the stirring emotions. He will become stronger. "
"Having a cracked piece of china doesn't mean it's cheap. Every crack in your mind is a story that only belongs to you, and it is also a power that belongs only to you. You can choose to make the cracks your permanent weakness, or you can choose to make them your unique pattern. ”
Sakai Katsuko slowly pushed the comb.
The girl let the ginger comb teeth in her hand push through Gu Weijing’s hair little by little.
As a girl who grew up in a top-notch artistic family,
In terms of family education on how to adjust her mentality and how to deal with the emotional twists and turns that may occur in her career.
The gap between Gu Weijing, who has lacked fatherly and maternal love since childhood, and his girlfriend may be wider than the apparent family gap between the two of them.
"Choose to turn the cracks into your patterns"
"Gu Jun, have you heard of Ge Kiln?" Sakai Katsuko thought for a while.
"Well, of course. Is it the most expensive among the five famous kilns? I heard that a cup costs tens of millions at Christie's. ”
Gu Weijing nodded.
He probably understood what Sakai Katsuko wanted to express.
Ge Kiln is one of the five most famous kilns in history The medium-fired porcelain cup is the most expensive and has the lowest yield. It is famous for its black cracks on the surface.
It is said that Longquan craftsmen in the Song Dynasty had a saying that there was a thread between life and death.
Otherwise, when the furnace is turned on, unique crack patterns will be formed on the surface of the porcelain due to severe thermal expansion and cold contraction. Otherwise, the uneven stress in the porcelain cup will directly explode into broken porcelain.
In the current era of antique craze, Ge Kiln and Yuan blue and white porcelain are almost firmly on the list of the most valuable porcelain.
“White porcelain without any patterns is boring. , at the same time, a porcelain cup with cracks and cracks on its surface may be a scarred and broken tea vessel that is not even worth fifty cents, or it may be a porcelain cup that cannot be bought for five million dollars and is full of wonderful openings. Textured boutique Dongxia Ge kiln. ”
“If you regard it as just a crack, it is just a weakness in your state of mind. If you think of it as your golden iron wire and your plum blossoms with ink patterns, then it is the supreme porcelain in the antique world. Countless people are willing to pay a fortune just to take a look at it. "
Sakai Katsuko stroked his forehead.
"From a girlfriend's point of view, I hope you will have more adequate rest after the torture just now. "
"From the perspective of an artistic partner, since you have been tortured by pain, I don't want my Gu Jun to only reap the harvest of a beautiful wisteria flower. No matter how sad you were just now, how much strength you can draw from it. ”
“I am very greedy, you deserve more.” "Please remember to bookmark, the latest and fastest website without anti-theft and free reading