"Dedicate your youth to the glorious city behind you. We pay the price for this beautiful dream. Leave your love to the most sincere girl beside me. You sing with me, wander with me, and hurt both sides with me, until Now, I suddenly realize that what I dream of is true love and freedom. I want to elope with you! I want to elope with you and become the happiest person~"
I played and sang. , Chen Zhen listened silently, nodding while listening, and caught the rhythm of the song "Elopement". After I finished singing the song, I put down the guitar, lit a cigarette, and dedicated my youth to my beloved girl. , wandering alone in the glorious city that never sleeps, I exhaled a breath of mist and thought of Gu Wei. She was really imprinted in my memory and could not be erased. I took a sip of boring wine.
Chen Zhen patted me on the shoulder, comforted me and said, "Brother, our past has become a thing of the past. We don't need to dwell on those bad memories. This glorious city that never sleeps is indispensable. Those are people like us."
Chen Zhen took a sip of the wine in his glass, and then continued: "When you live here, you have to learn not to be sad when you lose, and to be unhappy when you gain. The more sadness you have, the more regret you will have after losing it."
I nodded and sighed. After all, I just said that tonight, I will no longer be sad. .
I finished the glass of wine, looked at him, and asked, "Do you still remember your dream?"
Chen Zhen was silent for a while and frowned. After thinking for a while, he responded: "I like music, but I don't know how to do anything special. I just want to be a resident singer and gangster in a bar without too many material extravagances. This is my dream."
"It's a bit simple."
"What about you? Holding your "baby" guitar in your arms at night, you can't just sing a few songs here for no reason."
Chen Zhen asked, I was a little drunk, I sighed in my heart what kind of bad friends I have made over the years, they all know how to fucking guess, every guess is accurate, and none of them say a word, it feels like Even the color of the underwear I am wearing today will be guessed. Can we still be friends? Let me pretend to be cool in front of you. It’s okay to keep it a little mysterious.
I speak the truth after drinking, slowly. Said: "Since Gu Wei left, I have lost the goal of life. Even my dream has become distant and lost its color. I no longer need to chase after it desperately, but she is the one who can keep me alive. , I still think about it, I thought she would not come back, but did you know? She will return to Shanghai in nine days. If, I say if, we really become two people, she will leave her again. As for me, I really want to jump in the Suzhou River."
My tone was mixed with a little excitement, because when I talked about Gu Wei's return to China, Chen Zhen didn't reply, just listened silently, and then put the cup in his mouth. Lifting it up, I understood it, clinked glasses with him, and continued: "I still remember the "love" she wrote on the car window that day.Got..."
Chen Zhen drank the wine in his glass in one sip, put the glass down hard, and said in a deep voice: "Brother, I admire you, you have the courage to drive the Kawasaki on the highway. , to save the person I like, but I can only use that dirty way to take a completely different path..."
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I smoked a cigarette, and I felt mixed emotions in my heart. I felt uncomfortable. Why is this world so cruel, so callous, indifferent to people's innocent wishes, and depriving people of their most important things? And we I can only watch helplessly.
This is a heart-wrenching sorrow, a scar imprinted in my heart that cannot be erased by time or smoothed over by other emotions, my Gu Wei. , Chen Zhen, the southern girl, are all the bright meteors that have appeared in our lives. My meteor streaked across the sky slower for four years, making me fall in love for four years. How many years did it take for Chen Zhen’s meteor to streak across his world? , I don’t know, but my meteor is about to reappear, and Chen Zhen really doesn’t know how long it will take to wait.
My dreams carry beauty, and they are one of the few I have in this cruel world. The energy behind Chen Zhen's dream is unknown, but tonight I faintly noticed a thread. Although it is as small as a spider thread and difficult to detect, I am a sensitive person by nature. As long as it involves There are clues in my heart.
That thread connects Chen Zhen and I. Our dreams are intertwined, forming an abstract world, two different dreams. Intertwined with each other, who knows what kind of things can be fused.
I looked at the window behind the bar, and it was still raining outside, and my thoughts returned to Beijing. On the Shanghai Expressway, if I had been faster and more steady, I might have been able to intercept that Maybach before the finish line, then I would be the final winner of this bet of life.
But I am. If you hesitate, you will lose if you hesitate. I lost to the promise of "love". I lost to Gu Wei's heartbreaking look. I lost to the material gap. I lost. I lost completely. Let me lose. Gu Wei went abroad alone to avoid marriage.
If love also deteriorates, where will it start? The inconsistency in thinking? I have never experienced this. The separation between her and me was sudden. There was no precondition for the change, but it still changed. After she went to country m, we still kept in touch, but a year later she mentioned it on the phone. Break up.
I didn’t ask about the reason for breaking up that night. Her tone of mentioning the breakup was so firm and decisive, and there was no other emotional tone in her tone except seriousness. I drank until I vomited at night, smoked until I had a headache, vomited and drank again, and continued to smoke when it hurt. Later, I was sent to the hospital by Yu Qing without knowing it.
I didn’t know that I had committed the crime.What's wrong? Gu Wei rarely uses such a serious tone in front of me. She has always been a gentle and feminine woman. There is a estrangement between us, but I think this is still an intact apple. I cared about it, but I couldn't detect the borer at the first time. I didn't find it until the apple rotted from the inside, but I regretted it too much.
But what’s the use of this? Only when you lose it can you remember it, and only when you miss it can you lament how rare it is. This is one of the mistakes people must make in their lives, just like the code of a game, it must be drawn up as soon as you enter the game. Only by name can you experience the subsequent plot. The deterioration of love is sudden and never gives people a chance to notice. Deteriorated love is worthless. It is sometimes very extravagant and noble, and can travel through thousands of mountains and rivers of time. It is sometimes very cheap, so cheap that the beggars on the roadside despise it.
In this era, how much true love can still be discovered and appreciated by people? The love that licks a dog is like a pile of shit, making the dog feel that it is tasteless to eat and it is a pity to abandon it. The love that goes in both directions is short-lived. Spring and winter are still to come. If you pass this stage, spring will be warm and flowers will bloom. If you don't pass it, the cold and snow will kill the crazy people.