Chapter 34 I only want you

I looked back, my pupils suddenly widened, my heart was touched again, and my chest felt tight again. Under the light not far away, Jiang Ruowen held Gu Wei's hand and stopped to look at me. , Chu Yue and I were in darkness, unable to face the dazzling light, unable to compete for the place to enjoy the light. We had no fight with the world and just wanted to be alone, but the old wounds from the past came to reappear.

Chu Yue suddenly held my hand, holding it very tightly, as if I was going to leave her the next second. I didn’t want to see the sad cheek again, and I didn’t want to see the sad face again. I am bruised and bruised, and I am very sad. The person I love is obviously standing in front of me, but it does not belong to me. Just like her many years ago, I cannot ask for it or fight for it.

I am very jealous of Jiang Ruowen. He can boldly hold hands now, which means that they can walk into the wedding hall in the future. Gu Wei is wearing the diamond necklace around her neck. On such a night , only the weak light can shine in my eyes, I can't look directly, I turned to look at Chu Yue beside me, she looked nervous and frowned slightly.

She stared at Gu Wei's figure, and I knew she was jealous. Jealous of Gu Wei, jealous of everything about her, jealous of having my love, jealous of holding my heart. The smell of gunpowder at this moment seemed a little bit... The friction will be triggered, and we are both embarrassed. I turn my gaze to the two people not far away again. I cannot be timid, I cannot retract my gaze, I have to force myself to look directly at the pain.

If you can't bravely look directly at your scars, you will fall on your back on the muddy road in the future, with your face covered with scars. I looked at Gu Wei, she didn't have a good face, she was always frowning , Jiang Ruowen had a smile on his face. He held Gu Wei's hand, walked over, and said with a smile: "Xiang Yang, we haven't seen each other for less than a few hours, and you have found a new love?"

"No way."

I responded with a smile. Jiang Ruowen didn't seem to be satisfied with my answer. Instead, he looked at Chu Yue beside me and asked. He said in a joking tone: "Girl, how many days have you known him? We are together like this, and you are not afraid of being a spare tire?"

Chu Yue was stunned for a moment, and looked at me, his eyes It was full of signals for help. I wanted to scold Jiang Ruowen to death for asking for help. Just when I wanted to answer this tricky question for Chu Yue, Gu Wei spoke up, "Jiang Ruowen, you Be restrained and don't go out of your way to expose others' shortcomings."

Gu Wei was not angry at all, and her words were cold and cold, which made me feel chilled. After all, we met in this way, and I was caught off guard. Jiang Ruowen said to me. Gu Wei obeyed his words, nodded, and restrained himself for a moment. Looking at his obedient look, I couldn't help but feel a heavy pain in my heart. I used to be just like Jiang Ruowen, who obeyed his instructions.She never complained, and Gu Wei also told me to restrain my energy and stop causing trouble.

He is now just like me before, but the times are different, the feelings are different, and even the identities have to be changed. I am completely defeated and can no longer get any love from Gu Wei. , my chest is very empty and melancholy. Chu Yue and I are both losers, unable to make a comeback, and even the most basic temptations are timid.

"By the way, Yu Qing just called me and said, why do you want to see me?"

Jiang Ruowen looked at me and stopped talking about it. Chu Yue and Gu Wei also set their sights on me. My pressure suddenly increased and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I pretended to smile and said calmly: "It's nothing, I just want to ask about you." Come and smoke a cigarette."

I took out the cigarette that was lying on Shirai Qiue's body, took one out and held it in my mouth, then handed one to Jiang Zhiwen, but he Waving his hand and rejecting my kindness, Jiang Ruowen said to me: "No, Gu Wei is not used to the smell of cigarettes. I'll quit."

The corners of his mouth were raised from beginning to end, hanging. Wearing a smile that feels familiar to outsiders, it is full of ridicule to me. Especially this sentence, it goes straight to my heart. Indeed, Gu Wei hates the smell of cigarettes, and I have become the person she hates. In my peripheral vision I couldn't help but look at Gu Wei. She frowned and looked at me, as if she was taking stock of my situation over the years.

Her pair of deep and see-through eyes made me feel timid. My hand handing me the cigarette trembled slightly, and the cigarette fell to the ground. I instinctively leaned over to pick it up. A foot wearing leather shoes stepped on the cigarette. I was stunned for a moment and then raised my eyes.

Jiang Ruowen smiled and said: "The cigarettes dropped on the ground are not valuable. There is no need to pick them up. Not only will they dirty the cigarette holder, but they will also change the smell of the cigarettes."

At this moment, our brothers The friendship was broken. I clenched my back molars. Although there was a smile on my face, I wanted to grab Jiang Ruowen by the collar and beat him up. On the surface, he was stepping on cigarettes, but behind his back, it was my dignity. He looked down upon me for his wanton trampling. In his eyes, my dignity was like mud, malleable and destructible.

Gu Wei's frown relaxed. She saw something was wrong with me, and quickly tugged at the corner of Jiang Ruowen's clothes to relieve the current tension, and persuaded: "Jiang Ruowen, just stop in moderation." , going too far will not be beneficial to either party..."

"Shut up."

I choked Gu Wei coldly and interrupted her. She looked at me in surprise and frowned slightly. What I saw in her eyes was more worry. The previous smile no longer existed. My face was expressionless. This was the first time I interrupted. It was also the first time that Gu Wei spoke in such a strong tone.

I looked into Jiang Ruowen's eyes. He was very disdainful of me, even a little ridiculous. The smell of gunpowder had reached the extreme. He had trampled on my dignity. If I swallowed my anger, wouldn't I be a soft persimmon? I finally saw his face clearly. He will be arrogant and domineering when he achieves his goal.Regardless of the four years of friendship, maybe in his eyes, this is not friendship, but just hypocrisy on his part.

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"Jiang Ruowen, don't push yourself too hard, and don't be too arrogant. You have already got Gu Wei, what else do you want? Do you want to put me to death? Do you want to step on your little dignity that I have?" Under a pair of leather shoes? You can look down on my cigarettes, but you can't look down on my character. It's disgusting to see a villain succeed."

He laughed disdainfully and rubbed the cigarette under his feet. Holding a cigarette, he said: "Yan Xiangyang, you are already a loser, so don't be aggressive in front of the winners. This is a brilliant stage, and all it has is applause and flowers. Don't pretend to be noble in front of me. Like a clown, making a joke."

Jiang Ruowen said arrogantly, and took Gu Wei's hand. In Gu Wei's shocked and dissatisfied eyes, I could see her reluctance. Yes, I clenched my fists and wanted to punch him in the face. He was just a white-eyed wolf in human skin.

Chu Yue immediately held my fist, and then whispered in a low voice: "Xiang Yang, don't be impulsive. If you have something to say, please speak calmly."

"Do you think he needs to be treated well?" "Who said that?"

I sneered, Jiang Ruowen glanced at me disdainfully, then turned around and took Gu Wei's hand back to the community, adding, "Yan Xiangyang, Just take care of yourself."

After saying that, Jiang Rowen and Gu Wei disappeared into the light. Gu Wei's last look back was filled with worry. I have completely given up on her. I won't. If you don’t care about any emotion in your eyes, you and I are just passers-by.

But I stared at the direction they left, filled with anger and unwillingness. Why could Jiang Ruowen be so arrogant and show off unscrupulously in front of me? Could it be that his love was The ending must be perfect? I was very unwilling, but there was nothing I could do. Chu Yue patted my shoulder gently. Although she looked worried, she still comforted me and said, "It's okay, Xiangyang, let's go."

I took a deep breath and tried to force myself to calm down and get rid of my anger. I knew that violence would not solve the problem and would only make things worse. It would highlight my anger and make Jiang Ruowen become The winner, our battle, is whoever angers the other party first wins.

I looked at Chu Yue on the side guiltily, and said to her slowly: "I'm sorry, Chu Yue, for letting you see such an embarrassing side of me. I never thought they would show up. I know. You want to compare with Gu Wei, you are jealous of her, and you desperately want to be one step ahead of her, and you don’t want to be lower than her, right?"

Chu Yue hummed, and then she disappeared into the light with me. From behind, she said softly: "I am indeed jealous of her. I am jealous of how she can get your heart unconditionally, and why she can abandon you and choose such a person regardless of her feelings. I don't know where I lost? But I feel Until I lose completely, I can't imitate her temperament, her tolerance, her see-through, I will not..."

I sighed, this night is really sleepless, I am losing everything I have gained, I apologize, facing Chu Yue Gentle said: "I'm sorry, Chu Yue, for making you realize the gap between you and Gu Wei. She is indeed a perfect woman, but she has already made a choice. Even if we are both guilty, we will not face each other again. ”

I saw in Gu Wei’s eyes her reluctance to let go of this relationship. She is also a human being, with a heart, lungs, feelings, and love. I am the same, and no one else. Without saying it, everyone can see it clearly, but they have to pretend not to know. This is the principle of seeing through without telling. The same is true for love. When we meet again after separation, even if both of them want to get back together, due to face or old problems, We can no longer be heart-to-heart, and we can no longer have a common conversation.

We have gradually drifted apart, and our conversations have become ordinary, and we are even strangers. If it were not for her beautiful cheeks, there would be The soul-stirring voice, the familiar feeling, the threads that tug at my heart, I couldn’t recognize her even if I changed them all over again, but this contained everything about her, which was impossible.

Chu Yue shook her head. Shaking his head, he said softly: "It's okay, Xiangyang, I said, I'll wait for you to change your mind, so what if she abandons you? She just likes you when you are motivated, but now you are at your lowest point. She doesn't like your decadence, your loneliness, let alone your corruption when you drink, and how haggard you look when you smoke. But I don't Same, I just want a Xiangyang, I want the Xiangyang that never sets in my heart, the Xiangyang that always faces the sun, I just want you..."

Chu Yue gradually choked up, and her eyes once again contained Tears, I smiled at her, she actually cared about it, and she should have regarded Gu Wei as a target in her heart. There is no tenderness in this place, no warmth at all. We have to leave here. Chu Yue held my hand, and I did not resist. , but calmly allowed her to do this.

"Let's get out of here. ”

I moved my sight away from the unrelenting light, and the pace towards darkness will no longer stop. We are moths looking up to the light, but we can only compromise with the facts,

She was very happy and nodded. Although she was choked with tears, it was just a temporary storm. We slowly left this place together. The back looked extremely lonely in the moonlight, but it was a little warm. Although we were in darkness, some things were beyond our control. But it’s not that bad. No matter how bright the moon is, it’s still one. No matter how high the sun is, it’s still one. We are not as noble as the sun, not as bright as the moon, but we are stars, shining with our own value in the darkness.

We have all withdrawn from our own rhythm of life, we have all disrupted our pace, we look forward, and we will always welcome the light of that day...